haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
All I want is dick and wine.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
