May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
