my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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