I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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