Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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