the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
