Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
