You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
