I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
