if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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