I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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