Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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