i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
