PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
