People in love make me want to vomit
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
