I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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