I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
