South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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