What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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