quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
