he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
