sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
