Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I believe in your delicious
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
