Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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