A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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