Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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