so that wasnt chicken after all
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
