Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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