I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
