I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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