You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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