That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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