You're completely useless in the revolution.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
