You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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