six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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