My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
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