This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
