Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
