Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
