I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
