Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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