well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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