Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
