i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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