Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I bet he comes in French.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
