TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
