Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
