Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I touched a dick in church today
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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