i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
