No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
