at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
